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3 Reasons Why Being Financially Independent is Important In a Relationship

My friend Kathy, a 42-year-old single mother, began dating Brad after meeting him on a dating site.

They exchanged messages and flirted online before agreeing to meet in person.

It seemed to be a done deal in all but name.

Kathy considered this. “I have a positive feeling about this,” she reasoned.

 

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After all, Brad’s profile said that he was a firefighter and helped out at the Little League in his town.

 

Plus, his (already highly flattering) photo featured Brad’s pet Labrador, which, in Kathy’s view, was the deal-clincher for her.

 

And they seemed to get along well from the start.

 

The food was excellent, the beverages were plentiful, and the sparks were certainly flying.

 

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Kathy knew the chemistry was undeniable less than an hour into the date. She was certain Brad was the perfect match.

 

And the bill arrived.

 

Kathy was fully expecting Brad to say something along the lines of, “Don’t worry, I’ve got it…”

 

However, after nervously inspecting the check – and sharing glances – Kathy broke the uncomfortable silence (which felt interminable) by asking, “May I chip in?”

 

Brad said, relieved, “Oh, if you’re okay with that, then I’ll cover my half.” Thanks!”

 

Despite a small twinge of frustration, Kathy agreed to share the bill with him.

 

Who Is Supposed to Pay The Bill in the First Place?

 

They’ve been out a few of times since then, but Kathy is always on the fence about the whole thing.

 

This is why she approached me, seeking my opinion on the case.

 

“On our second date,” Kathy said, “he explained that he had just had his car repaired, which is why he was happy when I offered to split the bill.”

 

“And the good news is that he paid for it immediately, without waiting for me to talk.” Kathy continued.

 

“BUT here’s the thing,” she said, her voice somewhat disappointed, “he kinda reverted to his ‘old ways’ on our third date…”

 

“See, he *did* pick up the bill that time, but he bore the SAME expression as on our first date… You know, the ‘please assist me’ look…”

 

Kathy concluded with a sigh, “Everything would have been perfect had it not been for this whole bill mess… That is, is it even a problem in the first place?”

 

Thus, this is what I said to her:

 

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“In my opinion, he should have picked up the tab on the first date, as he was the one who asked you out. And if you offered to share the bill, he should have insisted on paying – that’s how dating works.”

 

“However, the fact that he attempted to make amends by obtaining the bill AFTER that is a positive sign.”

 

“And you are aware that he is not a millionaire, which might explain why he behaved the way he did on your first and third dates.”

 

“I know a lot of guys who are fearful of money.

 

.. and many of them fear that women would judge them solely on the basis of their income – and nothing else.”

 

Then I said, “If the way he handles the bill offends you, you’d better move on…”

 

“OR, you could take into account all of his great characteristics and give him another chance to prove himself.”

 

“If he proves to be a pathological scrooge, at the very least you tried.”

 

How To Avoid Money Constraints On Your (Dating) Style:

 

As with Kathy, many women lack the power necessary to determine how to proceed in a similar situation.

 

When they lack financial independence, it can really throw their dating lives for a loop…

 

…to say nothing about their relationships.

 

To put it another way, in an ideal world (one in which money is not an issue),…

 

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…a woman will pull out her purse when the bill arrives and then wait for the guy to initiate contact (as he should).

 

And if he agrees to pay, she may simply smile and conclude the transaction.

 

However, if he does not offer to pay, she should be willing to assist – and mean it.

 

And if he accepts her bid, she will pay her share without any repercussions.

 

Later on, she would be able to determine whether the whole situation was simply a miscommunication…

 

…or whether his actions hinted at genuine cheapness.

 

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In any case, it’s prudent to be in a strong financial position regardless of the result – and financial independence is the BEST way to do so.

 

And, in the event that things do get serious, being able to pay for your own belongings provides a strong base for the relationship – and fosters a healthy dynamic between you two.

 

However, what do I mean by that?

 

Consider the following three ways that financial independence (FI) establishes the proper precedent in a relationship:

 

#1: FI Promotes Autonomy (Hint: This is a Good Thing!)

 

Financial experts believe that it is preferable for someone to be financially independent BEFORE entering into a relationship.

 

That is because it results in a smoother and less stressful transition for those involved (financially speaking). There is noticeably less controversy around spending or disagreements about who pays which bill.

 

And if all partners in the partnership have a say in how their money is spent, there will be fewer complaints.

 


#2: FI Establishes a Foundation for Mutual Respect

 

As I previously said, a couple would avoid quarrels about the items they purchase for themselves.

 

If they both earn enough to split the expenses evenly (or, at the very least, agree on a reasonable arrangement),…

 

…at which point they are free to purchase anything they want on their own dime.

 

That means there will be no petty quarrels over the boyfriend’s (or husband’s) taste in classic vinyl records or the girlfriend’s (or wife’s) penchant for designer accessories.

 

As long as the other person’s spending habits do not adversely impact their savings – or way of life – they are likely to be tolerant of the other person’s spending habits.

 


#3: FI Is Long-Term Beneficial

 

Couples that are not dependent on one another generally retain their individual identities.

 

That is, in a financially secure relationship, individuals will relate to and act toward one another on EQUAL terms.

 

Thus, a couple should concentrate on being there for one another and growing together…

 

…without having to deal with the needless burden of financial concerns.

 

And being financially independent eliminates the drama that Mindy endured.

 

As comedian Chris Rock puts it, “wealth isn’t about getting a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of choices.”

 

And when you’re out on a date, FI gives you three options:

 

Allow him to take care of the bill if he offers…

You will pay your share if he prefers that you remain “halfsies”…

Or you could even cover the whole bill…

In any case, you’re fine.

 

If you want to keep dating a man – or keep looking elsewhere…

 

…you understand that your choice is based on self-sufficiency, NOT on neediness.

 

Now, as much as I’d like to discuss the how-of to’s financial independence, that’s a whole different topic…

 

However, I would assert that the world’s richest individuals share a trait.

 

It is not a matter of being born wealthy, attractive, or talented.

 

It’s more HABITS.

 

Thomas C. Corley, a prominent author, and financial authority spent five years of his life researching the practices of almost 200 self-made millionaires.

 

And he asserts that habits distinguish the wealthy from the rest. According to him, the activities we engage in subconsciously account for 40% of our waking hours.

 

That is a SIGNIFICANT amount of time spent on AUTO-PILOT doing tasks – and making decisions.

 

When you think about it, habits are merely mental shortcuts that allow us to make a large number of decisions quickly during the day.

 

This way, we avoid depleting our brain capacity and willpower.

 

As a result, a significant portion of our financial freedom (or lack thereof) is strongly affected by our implicit decision-making abilities.

 

And anyone interested in enhancing their financial condition just needs to refine their subconscious money habits.

 

However, you might be saying, “But habits take a LONG time to form.”

 

To be honest, I’m relieved to report that this is no longer the case – at least not now.

 

As you can see, there is a method for explicitly encoding “rich people patterns” into the subconscious – without spending months or years doing so.

 

And once you begin acting, thinking, and behaving in the manner of a wealthy individual…

 

…then the truth of your financial condition will eventually catch up with your habits.

>>> Relationships are working out for you? You’re probably looking in the wrong places. Check this out…

Is Your Brain Wired For Abundance?

“I always knew I was going to be rich. I don’t think I ever doubted it for a minute.”
-Warren Buffett(Billionaire Investor)


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Chris Gardner never expected to spend the night in a public restroom with his young son, but that’s exactly what happened.

 

He was forced to live like this for a year in San Francisco in the early 1980s due to a lack of funds and options.

 

Barely in his thirties, Chris scraped and worked to keep himself and his son afloat.

 

He earned next to zero as a trainee at a stock brokerage throughout the day. Chris had to find a new place for them to sleep at night.

 

Despite the daunting odds, he not only survived but also went on to found his own company.


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His company hired him as a full-time employee after his training was completed. Chris and his son’s fortunes only improved from there.

 

His story became so well-known that it was adapted into the Will Smith-starring film “The Pursuit of Happyness.”

 

Chris lacked the contacts and advantages that make it easier for others to become wealthy.

 

Despite this, Chris had something inside him that helped him rise from rock bottom to become one of America’s wealthiest men.

 

 

 

What is it that is preventing you from achieving your goals?

 

The majority of people are unaware that some parts of their brain will literally make them RICH.

 

And since they aren’t conscious of this, they are unable to fully use its potential.

 

This is why some people seem to have an easy time accumulating money…


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…while some, no matter what they do, still seem to lose money!

 

Perhaps you’re thinking:

 

“What do they know that I don’t?” says the narrator.

 

“How come other people are cruising Easy Street and making a fortune… when I’m settling for peanuts?”

 

“How come I keep losing money despite the fact that I’m not spending money on anything other than bills?”

 

The reality is that those who are rich should not have an unfair advantage over you.

 

They aren’t more talented, charming, or deserving of your attention than you are.

 

The world’s wealthiest people have one thing in common, regardless of who they are or where they come from: they are all extremely wealthy.

 

Their brains are wired with the mental processes and thinking patterns that motivate them to seek out huge wealth opportunities and TAKE ACTION.

 

To put it another way, their brains are literally WIRED for money.

 

You’ll find a collection of values, behaviors, and mindsets under the hood of their minds that enable them to do what they do.

 

That is everything there is to it.

 

Looks, talent, or “knowing the right people” have nothing to do with it.

 

 

 

No More ‘Poor Person’s Brain’: How To Finally Break Free.

 

So, if you’re trapped and disappointed with your current situation, you ought to STOP berating yourself.

 

Most importantly, you must avoid blaming yourself for your current situation. Your brain is just doing what you’ve taught it to do.

 

Your mind, like everyone else’s, works on unconscious thinking patterns that help you live in the world.

 

But here’s the thing: these trends aren’t always in your best interests.

 

This can lead to choices that lead you down a road you don’t want to take.

 

What if you have the same opinions, habits, and mindsets as someone who is wealthy?

 

What acts would you take if you were in this situation?

 

What impact will that have on the trajectory of your LIFE?

 

Just 20% of the population has a mind that is wired for money, according to new research.

 

As a result, there are a LOT of people who think, act and behave in ways that are always going to make them poor. They’ll be trapped where they are no matter what they do.

 

Getting a poor person’s brain often ensures that they will always:

 

Don’t overlook money-making opportunities.

Fresh ideas make you feel threatened.

At all costs, avoid success.

 

But the real trick is to get away from a protective mentality when faced with potential threats…

 

…instead, adopt a healthier belief system that, no matter what, inherently ATTRACTS money.

 

Change is often frightening, particularly when it involves your most cherished beliefs.

 

After all, it is through this prism that you see the world. And your faith has aided you in your survival so far.

 

As a result, leaving your emotional comfort zone and adopting a better attitude can be difficult.

 

And it’s this dissatisfaction that keeps so many people repeating the SAME OLD Trends.

 

But if you’re able to face your fears and take the risk of trying something new…

 

Then nothing but good will happen.

 

IS CHANGE POSSIBLE?

 

The reality is that you can develop a new way of thinking that helps you to adopt wealthy people’s characteristics, behaviors, and attitudes.

 

You can literally RE-WIRE the brain and develop new thinking habits that will naturally lead to financial success.

 

By adopting this new mentality, you will be able to:

 

Intuitively recognize ways to amass vast riches (that are hidden from the rest of the world!)

Develop a sense of wonder about the universe and discover new ways to make money.

Develop your imagination so you can diversify your income sources and make them run on autopilot.

 

The issue is that when poor people want to adopt this mentality, they encounter “mental resistance.”

 

Their old thought patterns seem to be too powerful to overcome.

 

Fearful and self-doubting thoughts add up to a pessimistic mental state.

 

Surprisingly, people cling to it because it provides a sense of stability and predictability.

 

As a result, they’re content to return to their old ways and achieve the same results.

 

However, there is HOPE.

 

If you’ve encountered the same resistance while attempting to make a positive change…

 

…you can now easily crack through these mental obstacles.

 

And getting into this mindset isn’t as difficult as you would think.

 

All you have to do is train your brain for a few minutes per day to rewire your unconscious thinking patterns gradually (but quickly).

 

Most people (including scientists) historically believed that the human brain hardens like concrete at some stage in one’s existence.

 

This, however, could not be further from the reality.

 

According to new studies, the brain is very adaptable, even in old age.

 

The process of growing new neural connections in the brain is referred to as “neuroplasticity” by neuroscientists.

 

With the right PUSH, you can jumpstart your growth and gain access to the parts of your brain that will allow you to think and act like the world’s wealthiest people.

 

This really is the KEY to making money on instinct.