It can be a totally mind-blowing experience to see a guy in a bar approach a girl he doesn’t know and make out with her almost instantly. A special skill or superpower that someone is born with can appear magical or out of control.
However, this is not the case. It can also be broken down into a few basic steps that you can take to achieve the same results. I’m going to break down those steps in this post.
What Do You Do?
This is where the most advanced frame control is used. If you want to come across as a pro at this, you need to know how to control someone else’s frame.
I’m referring to their “truth” when I say “frame.” You have the complete power of what they go through. To really get her to the point where she feels comfortable making out with you right away, you must be able to maintain control of the situation.
I’ll show you how to do it in a very fast, punchy, and efficient manner. I’ll clarify it as quickly as possible so you can try it right away…
Here’s what I’d mean exactly as I’d say it… When you approach a girl and she makes eye contact with you, slowly bring your finger up to your lips and whisper, “Shhh…”
Then deepen your vocal tonality and slow down your speech pattern. “Wait just a moment,” you reply quickly.
“Stop for one minute,” you may also suggest. I recommend employing some NLP techniques in this situation. When someone hears the words “stop,” “wait,” or “don’t,” they automatically register what follows.
So, what do you do if I say, “Don’t think of a black cat?” You immediately conjure up images of a black cat or whatever version of the one you have in mind.
So if I say, “Don’t try to make out with me,” or “Don’t make out with me right now,” girls will hear, “Don’t try to make out with me,” but their subconscious minds will hear, “Make out with me right now!”
You’re attempting to use a real-life version of Inception to convince her that you’re her idea. “I should make out with this man,” she should be saying.
Now, in order to get this to go as quickly as possible, you’ll be using a lot of these subconscious stimuli during frame control. Please only use this for positive purposes. This can be used in a variety of nefarious ways.
If a woman doesn’t want to be seduced, don’t try to seduce her. One of the reasons it’s so important to notice a woman who really wants to be seduced by a man is because of this.
So, to summarize: you approach her, place your finger over your lips and tell her to “Shhh” for a second, then say something that begins with “don’t,” “wait,” or “stop.”
“Don’t worry… right now,” I usually say. That’s everything I have to say about it. “Don’t…worry……….. right now,” I say as I slow down my expression.
Then I immediately proceed to the next sentence, which is, “We’re going to keep a secret from each other. We’re going to kiss in secret, and no one will notice.”
And when I say this, I’m leaning in… and when you do it, you’ll be doing the same. You’re leaning in slowly and steadily. You’re gazing from her eyes to her lips and back up to her eyes at the same time.
This is referred to as “triangulating.” Count to three when looking into her eyes, then down to her lips and count to two, up to three, down to two, up to three, down to two, up to three, down to two, up to three, down to two, up to three, down to two, up to three, down to two, up to three, down to two, up to three, down Do it three or four times when you’re speaking.
Since there is a lot to learn, you can practice a little. I don’t think you’ll get it right the first time around.
So, you say it again, “We’re going to keep something hidden from each other. We’re going to kiss and no one would be the wiser.” From here on out, you’re just filling in the gaps with words while leaning in to maintain control of the conversation.
But you’re going to reach around her back with your right or left hand – whichever is more available – very slowly. You won’t pull her in or anything at this point; only gently touch her.
The first step is to recognize that the ability to spot a woman who is ready to make out accounts for around 90% of the difference between someone who is very good with women and someone who isn’t so good or mediocre with women.
It may seem strange at first, but it is real. Your chances of success drop dramatically if you walk into a bar and approach some woman without knowing what signs to look for.
You must be able to recognize a woman who is already in a “make-out ready” state so that you can approach her and be “that person.”
Don’t believe the stereotype that women don’t want this to happen to them.
Women are just as sexual (if not more so) than men. Since so many guys are scared to go for it, this “turbo” make-out session almost never happens. When this doesn’t happen, the girls end up going home alone or, worse, sitting in the bar and being a little rude to a lot of the guys/being resentful and frustrated that no one approaches them.
You want to learn how to see the woman that you can make out within a minute or less in the first place by putting this strategy into practice.
There are a few excellent indicators that will tell you if a woman is game or ready for an instant make-out session (especially in a bar setting).
What Do You Look For?
The first sign is a woman who always looks down. A woman’s feelings are accessed as she looks down often.
Allow me to elaborate… Different sections of our brain are accessed as we look in different directions. “Eye Accessing Cues” is what they’re called. When a woman is looking down in a bar, she is accessing her emotional brain.
“I have an emotional reaction to you looking at me, and I’m looking down,” she says if she makes eye contact with you, looks down, and looks up again. And if she tilts her head down as well (rather than just looking down through her eyes), she’s physically lowering herself and demonstrating submission.
You’ll be able to walk up and be the dominant guy as a result of this.
If she looks at you, smiles, and does not look away, things might get a lot more complicated. In terms of social interaction, she’s taking you on head-on rather than submitting to you right away.
Women who you can approach and make out within less than a minute should immediately assume the submissive position as a woman. That’s one attribute that indicates you’ll be able to figure her out quickly.
She also has the trait of constantly looking around in order to make eye contact. This is extremely important. A woman who is actively engaging with someone and not looking away would be more difficult to seduce in 40 seconds or less. It’ll take a lot of time.
When you walk up, you’ll have to play a completely different game this time. You can’t just approach her and start making out with her.
Instead, if you see a woman having a conversation while always looking around and trying to make eye contact with a lot of people, this is most definitely an opportunity for you, and she’s a woman you can approach and become sexual with right away.
Other characteristics can be seen in the way they move and dress. Assume she’s standing with her feet about shoulder-width apart. A woman standing like this is less likely to be open for you to approach and conquer. That’s because she’s in a commanding role, with more assertive body language, and she’ll most likely be more receptive.
Instead, you’re looking for a woman who takes up less space. Her legs are closer together, and she seems to be outside of a party, looking around.
Another point to consider is her attire. She definitely isn’t the type of girl you can walk up to and make out within a minute if she’s dressed in a way that’s crazy flashy and attracting a lot of publicity.
This type of woman is looking for love, not to be dominated by anyone. You want someone who is somewhere between “I don’t give a damn” and “Stare at my tits, slut!” Somewhere between going to the bar in sweatpants and an elastic waistband and looking very, really good and sexy in a low-cut top. You’re looking for someone who falls somewhere in the middle of those two extremes.
This category includes a large number of vacationing women. They don’t want to overdress or underdress, and they have no idea what the bar environment would be like. They’ll normally come in with an open mind and begin searching around for links. This is a fantastic opportunity for you (and her, of course).
That’s what you should be looking for and how you’ll recognize her in the first place. You should keep an eye on her if you see any of those. If you believe she is the kind of person you can approach and do this with, go ahead.
If not, I’d advise you to go ahead and do it anyway, just to see what happens.
After you’ve finished that and seen your girl (there are usually three or four of these girls in a bar at any given time), you’ll walk up and begin the scary portion.
Signs That It’s Getting the Job Done
Is she staring at your mouth? You have permission to proceed if she is staring at your lips. If she’s staring into your eyes, you can either wait a second or turn around and try it again.
This, in a sense, resets the meter in her head. Most people consider turning around and turning back to be a new beginning in a discussion. It’s a curious psychological flaw.
That is, for some reason, how we are as humans. When someone walks away and then returns, we owe them a second chance to move forward. So, if you’re having trouble, turn around, turn around, smile, and keep going. If she continues to resist you, you should probably back off and look for another woman.
Proceed if she is staring at your lips and seems to be at ease and enthusiastic. You’ll close the distance between you and her and speak almost directly into her ear.
If you’re in a noisy setting, such as a pub, talk louder but don’t raise your voice. Reduce the volume of your voice to the point that you must be very close to her ear to be heard.
Then you’ll continue to talk… I typically say something along these lines: “This isn’t going to be seen by anyone. It’ll just be a little secret between us. I promise I won’t tell anyone unless you promise not to tell anyone as well.”
I make sure she can feel my breath on her neck as I say this into her ear. So, as I talk, I’m breathing out a little bit more than normal so she can feel the hot air on her skin.
When you do this, women typically respond with a visceral, deep, sexual reaction.
You’ll slowly rub your cheek against hers as you speak very close to her ear. Then you’ll move your head closer to hers and begin kissing her.
And if you do it correctly, you’ll start with just one soft peck and then move on to making out. Although it might not seem so in this definition, 40 seconds is a significant amount of time. This step can be completed in a fraction of a second – I’ve done it in less time and seen other guys do it as well.
It should be practiced.
What I’d like you to do is put this strategy into effect. Try for a minute or two at first, and then get to the point where you can do it in 40 (or even 30) seconds.
This isn’t a strategy you’ll use on a regular basis. However, including this in your seduction arsenal is extremely useful when the opportunity arises. To put it another way, you want to make sure you have the right equipment for the job.
If you beat around the bush, indulge in small talk, or otherwise waste time with a girl who is in that state and ready to be seduced, she will be turned off, and you will have missed a golden seduction opportunity.
Instead, you want to be able to see her, know that’s what she wants, and go in and give it to her right away when you see it. This is the main difference between guys who are rock stars at approaching and seducing a woman… and guys who wish they were great at doing so quickly.
There are several other factors that contribute to performance. There are basic NLP triggers that you can use to communicate to make sure she’s really in your zone. There are strategies about how to talk in the right tonality… how to touch her in a way that makes her feel relaxed and doesn’t turn off any of her odd alert switches.
Knowing a lot of shortcuts like this and knowing when to use them is what’s taken me from a regular guy to a well-respected dating coach. These shortcuts can also help you strengthen your relationship with women.
Remember these traits in women who want to be seduced, and keep in mind that you can make out with a woman in under a minute.